There Has To Be Another Way!
by Willowbright
Summary: If Makoto had realized Akira planned to turn himself in sooner, would she have been able to stop him? What could've been... For Makoto Niijima Week 2019: What if?


**There Has To Be Another Way!**

Something was wrong. Something was off. Usually Makoto would blame it on herself, for souring the mood by venting her worries regarding the difficult circumstances of Shido's trial and the uncertainty of it despite it being their first Christmas Eve together - what was supposed to be a happy occasion. Was that why Akira looked so preoccupied? Was that why he looked so worried? Was that why he was acting so strangely distant?

She lay on her stomach, arms crossed over her pillow, dissecting every word in their conversation over and over, trying to pin down that niggling feeling of what went wrong.

* * *

"...What's wrong?" she had asked.

"I'm sorry." he had responded vaguely.

_Liar._

"I-I'm sorry for bringing up such a strange topic. On Christmas Eve, no less…"

Akira only looked down, staring at his hands. The atmosphere was becoming increasingly dour and it was clear the conversation had trickled to a stop with no sign of resuming. Makoto thought it would be best to excuse herself.

"I'll be going now."

He shook his head. "I'll walk you back."

He said it out of habit, out of courtesy. Yet his voice rang hollow, distant - impassivity had slipped on like a mask because she couldn't- She pushed that thought away.

She brushed a lock of hair back before rising from her seat. "...No, I'm fine."

Before she got to the foot of the stairs, she summoned her courage to ask him, "Hey... you're keeping something from me, aren't you...?"

_You're just going to say it's nothing, aren't you? Why won't you tell me?_

Makoto felt his eyes bore into her back but she didn't dare turn around, fearing she had angered him. The silence stretched out between them for what was only a few seconds but to Makoto and her churning stomach, it felt like hours. Before Akira could say a word, Makoto spoke up.

"...Never mind. Good night."

She hurried down the stairs as quickly as she dared.

Akira did not chase after her.

* * *

Makoto tossed and turned. She sat up. She buried her face into her Buchimaru-kun plush, mulling over what few words Akira had spoken to her. The weariness in his eyes. The sadness in his smile when he received her gift. She could tell he was worried but she knew if she asked he would smile and brush it off.

"You could've just told me what was bothering you..." she muttered. Or rather, she could've confronted him about it instead of leaving._Why? What was I so afraid of? We stopped Shido. He had a change of heart. We changed the public's heart. Our part is done, isn't it? Sis said she would handle the rest but of course, it's never that simple. Shido's allies keep throwing obstacles in her way. What else is left? What else can we do? What else can they do…_

Her eyes flew open and she quickly checked the time on her phone. Train. When does the first train leave?

She bolted out her apartment and hopped on the first available train to Yongen-Jaya.

The alleyway to Leblanc was still and quiet, swathed in the shadows of a grey and misty morning. The windows of the humble cafe were fogged over and there was no sign of people. Maybe, just maybe she was wrong. And maybe, just maybe she was just being paranoid. She inhaled sharply turned the handle. Unlocked. The door swung open and she saw Akira speaking quietly to...

"Sis?"

Both of them looked up and turned their heads in her direction.

"Makoto…?" Confusion crossed Sae's face. Akira quietly shuffled his feet. Color drained from Makoto's face.

"What's going on?" she croaked.

The pieces were coming together and try as she might, she could not deny her fears were happening before her. She looked at Akira. "Where are you going?"

He remained silent, and shifted his eyes down at the floor.

She stepped towards him. "_Why _are you going?"

His bangs fell forward, obscuring his eyes. She forced herself to remain calm despite the bile rising in her throat and the cold dread that stabbed at her heart. "Akira, just-"

Sae sighed softly. "You've already had yesterday to think it over. Let's go."

Akira nodded mutely and walked right past her, towards the door.

"I'm sorry," She thought she heard him mutter.

_No, please. You can't do this… Akira. Akira!_

The world seemed to spin before her. Everything was happening in slow motion and it felt as though her feet were chained to the ground. Makoto watched as Akira drew his hood over his head and prepared to leave with Sae.

"Wait!" she pleaded and grabbed his hand. "There has to be another way!"

Akira stopped. He did not turn to face her but he didn't pull his hand out of her grasp either. He looked straight ahead at Sae. "Give us five minutes."

Sae didn't budge. She only crossed her arms and glared.

Akira lowered his head. "Please."

Sae regarded both of them for a moment and pointedly glanced at her watch. "Four minutes, fifty-nine seconds and counting..."

He nodded in thanks and wordlessly took Makoto by the hand and led her upstairs. When they reached the top of the stairs, he released her hand. They circled each other speaking in hushed voices that gradually rose in volume.

"Makoto, listen-"

"Let's think this through for a second."

"I need you to-"

"No."

"Take care of the others-"

"No. We can still-"

"Makoto. You know there's no time. This is the only way." He reached out towards her but she backed away, one arm raised defensively.

"Why?! Why should you have to sacrifice yourself **_again_**?" Her harsh question cut through the gap between them. Her garnet eyes, cold and anguished cut into him. Akira slowly lowered his hand and she averted her gaze. She was about to apologize for her unsightly behavior but Akira stepped forward and -

He took her face in his hands and kissed her deeply. The way his mouth moved over hers told her he was saving this kiss in the confines of his memory, not knowing when or even if he would ever be able to see her again. She clung to him and wished for all the time in the world to stop, so that she could keep him here in this moment, safe and unharmed.

He was still here! He wasn't gone yet! If they could just-

Akira pulled away first and continued to cradle her face with both hands.

"I love you, Makoto. That's why if turning myself in means keeping you and the others safe, I'll do it. I swear I won't let Shido or his henchmen lay a hand on any of you."

She gripped his hands, swallowing her tears.

"This isn't fair." she whispered.

"No," he agreed. "But it does give your sister and I an opportunity to fight."

He gave her a confident smile. "Hey, don't worry. We've got a powerful ally on our side. Best prosecutor in the justice system, right?"

She nodded. "If anyone can win this case, it's her."

He pressed their hands together.

"Take care of the others, okay?"

"Yeah."

"Stay together and look out for one another."

"Yeah."

"Also, could you do me a favor? Keep this safe for me?" He took out his phone. "They'll probably confiscate it and mess with the inside or something. If I need to make a call, I'll probably just use one of the phone booths."

She took the phone in both hands. "I'll keep it by my bed and I'll make sure it's fully charged when you get out."

He smiled gently. "Thanks. I know I can always count on you."

"Akira…" She gripped his hand. She wanted to reassure him, give him words of encouragement, something that would bring him peace of mind, the way he always did for her, but the words would not come.

He gently laid his hand on hers and pulled his hand out of her grasp. "It'll be fine."

The door slammed shut and Makoto felt her heart clip in two. Tears threatened to spill over but she dug her fingernails into her palms and constricted her throat. She slumped into one of the booths and rubbed her temples, ignoring the pounding headache between her eyes. If only she realized sooner. If only she had stayed with him after she became aware he was hiding something from her. If only she hadn't let him push her away. If only she sensed what weighed heavily on his mind from his downcast eyes, his apologies begging her to understand. Then maybe they could have found an alternative plan. But it was too late. All that remained were regrets.

_That was unfair. You're unfair, Akira. You finally say those words out loud and now you're gone. You didn't even let me respond. Stupid, selfish, self-sacrificing idiot. You tell me not shoulder the burden on my own and then you go and do just that._

Two tears trailed down her face. She swiped them away. Time for tears later.

"I swear, I'll get you back. Somehow." she whispered. "I won't let it end like this."


End file.
